Today’s little slice
of “happitude” is...
That the gloomy, rainy weather brings little
bits of unexpected beauty with it. Every day may not be good, but there’s
something good in every day.
I struggled to find the good in this day. I had
been wrestling with myself for a long time and I had finally made a very
important decision that would change my life in a very big way. Today was the
day that I would follow through with my decision. And that was difficult.
I had decided to end my long term relationship
with the Greek. It had been a long time coming and there were plenty of good
reasons for this decision but that didn’t make it any easier. Nor did the fact
that I knew I was doing the right thing.
The fear of being “alone” again and having to be
yourself without being defined by your relationship with another person is very
real. You find yourself without your “person”. You think of all the empty
spaces that will be left in your everyday life once that person isn’t there
anymore. Who will you call as soon as you receive good or bad news? Who will
you text at the end of day to say you’ve arrived home? Who will you relax at
home with on a Friday night? Who will you watch all your favourite shows with?
Who will you text first thing in the morning?
No one.
For the first time in a very long time I was
going to find myself completely and utterly alone. And I was petrified. I don’t
like to self-reflect. I don’t like to look at my inner self. What if I don’t
like who I find?
But it’s so necessary to know who you truly are,
who you want to be, what you want, what you don’t want, what you’re willing to
settle for and what your deal-breakers are. And this day was the beginning of
that journey for me.
Here’s to finding myself and learning to be
friends with myself again.
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| Image property of Candice Curtis |
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